This little piece of silly is in response to a long-standing request! I’ll let you guess from whom.
Leaf: Ok, ok. It’s been months since Aernath and Baakay swapped me for Ardit. Ardit got to go to nice, semi-tropical Florida, and I got to come to Colorado. I haven’t been in many shoots since I’ve been out here, so I figured it was a good time to give a shout out to my buddies at the Ranch – and the rat, er I mean Rat, who’s enjoying Arid-zona at the moment. See, yesterday we had this little thing called a blizzard…
Yessir, here I am, in beautiful Colorado, where the sun shines 300 days a year. And then there are the days like yesterday. Barbecue, anyone? The smoker grill is… well, it’s rusting back there… and the deck is…covered with really wet snow… Do you mind if we move it along, lady? My FEET are FREEZING!
Leaf: Man, it’s bright out here. Nice tree, though… but the SNOW IS COLD ON MY FEET!
Me: Leaf, keep it down, the neighbor’s dog is pretty excitable, you know. Ok, ok, let me move you over into the sun.
Dawg: Woof. Woof woof woof. Bark. Woof Bark. (etc, for hours on end, you get the idea).
Leaf: And loud, too. Is he always like this?
Me: Like this? Oh no. Sometimes he does it at NIGHT!
Leaf: Nice pile of snow he’s got there. What’s to prevent him from jumping over and tasting my resin?
Me: Not a lot; shall we move to higher ground?
Leaf: Well here we are. Springtime in the Rockies. Or, well, 50 miles east of the Rockies.
Me: The cow flats.
Leaf: Whatever. Springtime fun. Swingsets! Sun! Backyard gaiety!
Leaf: Hey, Aernath! There’s that park you like so much! Shall we take a stroll? There’s no fountain but I’ll bet we can find an ice floe or two…
Me: Do I detect just the slightest particle of sarcasm in that remark, dear Leaf?
Leaf: Hey. You’re good! Look, the guys at the Ranch are running around with open shirts. I’m wearing… a PENGUIN. in MARCH. The guys are basking, and yesterday it was twenty degrees below stupid, Farhenheit, with a windchill of OMGWTFBBQ!!
Leaf: Rat’s cuddling up to unicorns, I’ve got…
Me: The neighbor’s watchrag, er watch dog.
Leaf: You catch my drift, I take it. Ok, let’s go show them all the ice in the front driveway.
Leaf: What the heck? It’s a river! There IS water in Colorado! Who knew??
Me: Amazing, wot? You wouldn’t believe me when I told you it would disappear as soon as the sun hit it.
Leaf: Guess so! There were… big piles of ICE out here a little while ago… Really!
Leaf: Hey! Aernath! Show this nice cozy den to Vorpal Bunny! This is where our bunnies live! Well, under it, really. *shiver*
Me: At least Woof can’t see you from behind there…
Leaf: Good point. Can we go in now?
Me: Sure we can, sweetie. I’m ready, anyway… it’s way too hot out here.
Leaf: You said that for Aernath’s benefit, didn’t you?
Me: You catch on quick!
[a few moments and much removal of clothing later:]
Leaf: Aahhh. Ok, this is better. Wet sneaks off, bunny slippers on, and a nice warm spot in the sun. It’s not Florida, but, well…. it’s….
Me: Greeley Freaking Colorado?
Leaf: Um, ya.
Leaf and Strudel check out the fish!